Secondhand Offense

Second hand smoke used to be a big concern in Minnesota, and enough campaigns and supporters led to the removal of smoking sections in public places, like restaurants and bars... you get it. Apparently it was more lethal than actually smoking, which I never fully understood, but then again, I am no expert in the effects of smoking a cigarette. But I am not going to make a stand for second hand smoke, because it causes people to die and go to heaven, which is a tragic thing, so there is no way I would ever raise my hand in support for the situation. What I am going to get into is how much I hate white people who get offended by shit that isn't about them all because they think they are kind people who have to stick up for everybody, which is certainly not the case. I am talking about second hand offense.

It usually takes place with white women, for white men tend to keep their mouths shut about this shit, or they are all racist. I hate when I say something slightly vulgar or blog about something that is politically incorrect and terrifying, and some white bitch has to complain about how they are offended. White people do not have the right to be offended. It's bad taste. So, the next time I am complaining about the Great Wall of China to some white folks, I hope that they will take what I have to say and absorb it if they enjoy it, or ignore it if they don't. Fucking white people. I do realize I am a part of the white race, and I love the white race very much. Not only do I have a slightly better chance of getting out of tickets, 3rd only to white women with great tits, and people en route to the hospital to deliver a baby. I also love that I can get away with murder and arson and all that other good shit that non-whites get executed for, but I am only joking when I say that... And if you think that I'm not, please, do me a favor, close the window and get back to your jerk off session on your interracial porn, you unrightfully offended bastard.

Today's Saturday post is a replacement to my missed Thursday and Friday posts. Thursday was a busy day of class and the arrival of a good friend from LA who, on Friday, I went skydiving with. That life altering excursion is the reason for my absence yesterday. I am completely aware that viewership on weekends is low, but if you see this post, congratulations, and thanks for digging back in the archives for something classic. I will continue my posting on Monday, and will provide as many posts as I can throughout the week, for my favorite friend and twin criminal will be arriving in the Golden State on Wednesday, which will kick off the episodes of drunken antics and accidental occurrences that will provide for great blog posts and entertaining campfire stories. So, when you read of some kids jumping into a fire one night, it's probably because my shockingly awful stories caused my children to act out the only way they could. With that said, I shall continue with my lecture on bull shit offense...

Why is there a class of white people who think that they can change the world with their disliking for offensive comments? That ridiculous group of people usually consists of the most judgmental crackers who have ever roamed the Earth. They try to take offensive comments and turn them into lessons for the entire world... though they are lessons that nobody needs to learn. Most of the offensive comments I say are indirect, and not to mention, sardonic. I am a cynical person and the statements that exit my mouth oftentimes are loaded and inappropriate. If I didn't talk that way, I wouldn't be the person that everyone knows. I would be committing identity fraud and wouldn't be representing the kind hearted Minnesotan that I grew up to be. I am kind, and if you disagree, let me tell you, there will be a special group of white people who will take offense to that on my behalf, but I will not. And to the people who are taking it on my behalf, stay the fuck out of it, for it does not concern you, and you don't need to worry about it. I think I could take all racist and unorthodox jokes and put them in a container, and leave them alone for a while, because the group I wish I could attack the most would be the whites and their superficial existences and their high beliefs in themselves. Most whites are not like this, but the ones that are misrepresent a very significant, hard working group of people. Holla to my white friends. And, since I said holla, I suppose holla to the blacks as well.

So, the next time you're sitting in a group of people, and somebody drops a Helen Keller joke or a Jew joke or hell, an Asian joke, and nobody in the circle is blind, deaf, Jewish, or Asian, then go ahead and laugh, because none of you have the right to be pissed off by it. If you're some crippled Holocaust survivor, and somebody makes a pro-Nazi statement, you go ahead and beat them with your cane or run them over with your wheelchair. But if you're some twenty year old blonde bitch who has never seen Schindler's List, you don't have the right to be mad. Of course, there will always be people who get offended by statements. You've got the Rutgers basketball team who Don Imus referred to as nappy headed hoes on a radio show... now, that calls for offense, because it was direct and it wasn't very nice. But there were more white people offended by that than anyone else. So, to the people in my race who try to stick up for everybody, I suggest you give it up, because soon enough, you may be a minority, and all the brown, black, purple, green, and yellow people will be cracking jokes at you, and guess what, nobody's going to tell them to stop.