The Blind Side

My advisors have strictly instructed me not to write about blind people today. I am going to obey and figure something else out, but I honestly don't think it would've been a problem to blog about them. The first reason is because I have a cataract over my right eye which prevents me from seeing out of it, therefore making me partially blind... which, in a way, I'd be making fun of myself. The second reason is because they are blind and will never be able to read this. We don't start publishing in braille until next year. I'm also a huge fan of Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder. But since I don't want to cross "the line," I am just going to go in a different direction and cross a different line. Besides, there isn't much humor in blindness, except for their canes, their dogs, and when they run into light posts... but otherwise, no humor. This one time in middle school I was with a few friends outside of the movie theater waiting for "Cellular" to start... a blind woman and her dog were coming toward our sorry excuse for a mall, so thinking I was being the good Christian middle school fucker that I was, I opened the door for her... She responded coldly, "I can get it myself." Sorry, bitch. I think her blindness is a response to her personality cancer... what a consequence.

Consequences have always been the things you imagine when participating in something naughty and they are meant to prevent you from doing it at all... But consequences shouldn't stop people, unless they're fatal... but then again, that would really stop you. Consequences is a very hard word to type, so I am preparing myself for quite a battle with my keyboard here. I hope you appreciate it... I have experienced many consequences and most of them have been rather pleasant. I just copied consequences so now I can just paste it when I say it... Good idea, Mr. Lewis. Anyway, consequences have always pissed me off for a few reasons. Besides the fact that they are always over the top, they don't teach you much and they prevent you from having a little fun in your life... and when you're 19 years old, or anywhere around that age, consequences shouldn't be on your mind... Worry about that shit later. Have fun while you can. Because the consequence of having fun as a teenager is having to become an adult, and I think we all know what happens then... Where does all the fun go?

Reflecting on the "trouble" that I got in last week, I have come to the conclusion that I don't give a shit. I deserved to get in trouble because I was violating a school rule, and I knew it, but I don't care. I learned my lesson... I am just not going to do meth behind the residence hall anymore... I'll do it somewhere else. (If you missed The Gestapo it's not actually meth... save your judgements) I realize all of my friends have reacted to the whole thing differently, and I am on the side of not really caring. I know what I did and I'll stick to that and nothing is going to change that, fix that, or prevent me from doing it again. Life is so sweet and the fact that we get the opportunity to do with it whatever the fuck we want is honestly the coolest thing about waking up in the morning... Surprise yourself and don't give a fuck. That kind of attitude will put a smile on your face, even when they're cremating you after your heart attack. I've still got a few years until I'm an adult... so until then, let's fuck shit up, eh?

We all know I say some shit I wouldn't say in a church or during an inaugural speech, but I am glad I say it. I don't know what the consequence will be to me saying it all, but I do know that by releasing all of these thoughts, even though they are a collection of the world's theories of people and my commentary on them, but either way, I am proud of myself, because if I die tomorrow, I'll have less inside... Every time I type one of these things, I have one thing less to say, and I feel refreshed and allow my mind to consume something new and then I take that and turn it into an offensive and degrading romp and I have the time of my life doing it. If the consequences are negative in the end then so be it, but at the age of nineteen I am going to fuck up on purpose and I am going to love every minute of it... I'll go to class, I'll respect everyone's views, I'll do nice things for people, and when I am passed out next to a mule in a Tijuana alleyway, I will have justified it.

If you are blind to what I say and don't think about all of this, then you're blind to a lot more, because this is pretty basic. Open your eyes, or eye, in my case, and take a look around. There is so much to do in this world, and I believe that a lot more now that I live in a city and not a dinky town that is deserted after 7 PM. I've been skydiving and rode the gondolas in Venice (thanks Frau) and have been places I could've never imagined and I love drinking alcohol and I won't talk about any other substances, but at some point or another I have loved them very much as well, and no matter what kind of bad behavior I get in, I know consequences will likely exist, but the biggest consequence of them is all is to take seriously other consequences, because if you do, you're going to be blind to the most exciting adventure you'll ever get the opportunity to take and that is life.